HOW TO LIVE TOGETHER

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Sup! Cole here! Today I am going to talk you through what its like to live with your other half. Now I can only speak from the experiences I've had in the past and my current situation living with April. My advice may not apply if your situation is different. Screen Shot 2017-09-18 at 19.47.06

So lets get started with;

WHAT TO EXPECT. 

  • The honeymoon phase. For some folk this wears off QUICKLY

The honeymoon phase is that part of the relationship where everything is going perfectly. Where you feel like you wont ever fight with your other half and that you are the perfect couple that can overcome anything. When you first move in together everything is all new and fresh. Its easy to think it will stay that way.

  • Lack of personal space

You will quickly learn that all that freedom and time you once had is suddenly gone. When moving in together there's an odd obligation you feel to have to spend every minute of the day with your other half. You find that having "me" time is less and less.

  • Money troubles

You might both be rich or be earning more than enough to pay for everything, but money troubles can come from nowhere. Unexpected bills or expensive nights out can lead to a decline in happiness when you realise you are not doing quite as well as you thought you were. Money troubles can escalate VERY quickly and cause huge arguments. Sometimes leading to the couples bringing up "Relationship bills" where one person will argue that they paid for X and now the othe half owes them Y.

  • Spending “too Much” time together

When you live together, and especially with new partners you can often find you are spending too much time together. This can lead to bickering and fallouts when little annoyances become massive problems in the relationship.

  • Breaking down barriers (and breathing)

Over time, while living in the same space you will gradually come out comfort zones you didn't know you had. Being gross is natural and you will eventually discover how gross each other are.

  • You will find out EVERYTHING about them

Although you may think you already know everything about your other half. There's always something new to learn and over time you will discover little bits and bobs about them that you were unaware of. This could be anything from a past lover who had never been mentioned previously or a dislike for something you thought they loved.

  • Its the make or break stage

Moving in is a massive commitment. It can very quickly destroy a relationship. Or it can show you that you will be fine and you are meant to be.

  • You WILL disagree on things.

So far you may think that you see eye to eye on everything. Never forget how you like your house to be and how they like it will be different in some ways. This will eventually clash when you move in together.

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NOW THEN! We have covered everything you can expect;

HERE'S WHAT TO DO ABOUT THEM

  • The honeymoon phase. For some folk this wears off QUICKLY

Trial and error friends. Have your other half spend a few weeks at a time living at your house or you at theirs. Get used to being stuck together to make sure you can live like that long term. Another solution is to go on holiday together a few times to make sure the constant sight of each other doesn't gradually impact how you feel about each other.

  • Lack of personal space

Personal space is super important. You absolutely MUST be able to talk to your partner when you need some personal time. As much as you want to spend time with your other half make sure to spend some quality time alone every now and then to re-charge your batteries. Equally, if your partner asks you for personal space. Grant it without question as its likely not you thats the issue, they just need some time alone. Be respectful.

  • Money troubles

As I said. Money troubles are unavoidable, but there are a few ways you can overcome them or be prepared. Myself and my ex used to put all and any change into a jar for any unexpected bills (Which saved us when we got hit with an electricity bill worth £600) Putting away some extra cash to cover bills is a smart plan but also just be fair with your money. You don't have to share your money the way some couples too but just keep in mind if one half seems to be paying for too much, level the playing field and keep it fair.

  • Spending “too Much” time together

Spend time with friends. The biggest issue when people get into relationships is that they quickly lose friends because they dedicate everything to the relationship. It's perfectly fine and natural to want to spend every waking moment with the one you love, but never forget the friends who were with you before you had your other half. Have a strong support system of friends to share hobbies with and spend time with to give the relationship breathing room. Equally if one half wants to see friends then the other can always have some "me time"

  • Breaking down barriers (and breathing)

This is very natural indeed. Everyone is gross in some way. If your partner does something you are VERY grossed out by then be respectful and don't do it in front of them. Communication is key to any healthy relationship so if boundaries are being pushed too much don't be afraid to talk about it and bring it back a notch.

  • You will find out EVERYTHING about them

Just be ready for the worst and be respectful. Everyone has their demons and sometimes it takes a lot for people to open up about them. I am an open book and can happily talk about all my life's struggles and bad moments. however few folk are comfortable with that level of open-ness so I always try to be mindful when chatting about sensitive topics that they may not want to tell me as much as I tell them. If they tell you some shocking news just accept that whatever happened is in the past and they are trusting you to accept that and not judge them. It's vital you be open and understanding as everyone has their reasons for things they do.

  • Its the make or break stage

If you took the advice of trial and error before moving in and decide to go for it. Take it slow. There will still be lots of twists and turns in this new adventure. Don't let little niggles build into fights. Like I said, communication is EVERYTHING!

  • You WILL disagree on things.

It's only natural, the key is to accept their own opinion even if you think it's wrong. Everyone has their own ideas and opinions. If you find you are fighting over silly topics, take a step back and ask yourself "Is this argument really worth the strain? Is it worth potentially damaging our relationship over a difference of opinion?" if you love them the chances are its a NO.

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There you have it folks. Living together can be the most wonderful thing you can do together, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Be mindful, be respectful and take plenty time for yourself and your friends. You will be fine.

Thanks for reading! I hope you guys found this helpful. Are any of you about to move in with a partner but are worried? Let me know in the comments below and I'll be sure to lend a helping hand 🙂

As always if you have any questions or need more advice on this topic, or other relationship matter, me and April and always here to help. You can contact us directly here > Get In Touch!

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Be sure to check out our video on this topic we filmed for YOUTUBE if you want to see our faces!

Peace!