Who Am I On My Own - (a new year revelation)

Whatup Ov fam! April here for a deep blog post today.. I know! Makes a change! I was originally going to talk about my 2019 goals list but during some hardcore meditating (is that a thing?) I stumbled on another topic which I feel is more important. So without rambling on.. lets just get into it.

New Year, New Challenge

With it being a new year I’m kick starting 2019 with a yoga challenge. That’s right! Somehow I need to squeeze a half hour on the mat every day and commit to it for 30 days. It sounds easier said than done but working full time as well as running OurVibes sometimes even dedicating myself to ten minutes of alone time is hard… But that got me thinking.

During the first part of todays yoga session while connecting to my inner breath, I started thinking about how much alone time I get and why is’s so hard to spend time with myself (told you things were gonna get deep!).

I think the truth is; I avoid alone time. I try my best to match my schedule to Coles so we can hang out more and fill the gaps with seeing friends or going to the gym. Suddenly I was taken back earlier this morning, trying to find friends to go to classes at the gym with me because I was too scared to go alone. Times when I’ve been invited out to parties but opted to stay in with Cole instead. I guess you can say I had a revelation while pressing up into downward facing dog.

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I’m scared of doing things alone. I talk myself out of situations that sit on the brink of my comfort zone and get upset when I have to spend time by myself. But equally push others away by saying no to social situations. While stuck in a wobbling plank I realise I’m a mess of a human. But instead of sitting and crying about it, I stretch myself into mountain pose. It’s the beginning of a new year and what better time is there to discover something about myself and turn it into a strength not let it remain a weakness.

This year there’s a lot I want to accomplish but more than anything I want to resolve this beef I have with myself. I actually think taking some time out each day to do yoga is a step in the right direction. Not letting myself get swayed by other peoples agendas but getting onto the mat and thinking'; ‘I’m doing this for me.’

Of course I know I need to do a lot more than some yoga ever day to resolve this issue, that’s why I’m also going to do something that scares me every week. This week will be finally taking a class at the gym.. it might seem small to you but to me this will be a massive achievement. Not only that but I’m going to start saying yes more in the hopes I’ll stop pushing people away and instead let myself into better opportunities. I’m actually pretty excited about all this, and to think I got here just by sitting on a squishy mat breathing deeply! The wonders of yoga huh?

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Thank you for reading and I hope your year is off to a great start too! Let me know if you’ve got any goals and if you can relate to my out of the blue revelation!

I promise I’ll write a post soon about my 2019 goals and I’m pretty sure there’s a blog post from Cole on the way as I’m sure you’re getting sick of me posting all the time!

Peace for now x

April